i have to get out of here. i’m not kidding. i need a change so extremely bad; i’m going to explode. i’m going to die. maybe not explode, really, but sometime more like melting. melting away or perhaps denigration into nothing. no matter what, i have to get out of here. i have to get out of here.
tumblr is making me miserable. all i do is tumble all day, and it’s truly killing my grades and my spirit. i’m not living. i only live when i’m with my boyfriend, and i don’t get to see him very often. i need to learn to live even when i’m by myself. i need to learn to live and learn and grow and be happy. for him. for my family. for my future family. but mostly for myself. i deserve to be happy. and all i do, all day, is watch other people be happy and beautiful. i look at meaningless pictures and die inside because i am not in them. so here i go. i’m going to live. i love you all. i truly do. and i love tumblr, and my blog, and all the inspiration that i gain from it! but i definitely need to live my life for real, not live a blog.
I walked into Interpersonal Communication when:

Very Honest, but Fantastic, Black Woman Who Sits Behind Me:

“You be lookin’ real good these days, girl!”

Me:

Her:

“No, really! I see you eatin’ all that healthy stuff you be eatin’, and I’m back here eatin’ a Twix!”

Me:

Her:

“Really! I can so tell you’ve been losing weight! You be lookin’ real good, girl.”

Me:

Text from my boyfriend: “Well, I’ve got another gay kid sweet on me. Or at least my hunch is that he’s gay.”

my sweetie just related the joy of seeing me to the joy of a good video game.

Anonymous asked: So, hey, I've been meaning to tell you this for awhile, but your beauty can be a bit intimidating, you know. I really like you. A lot. I think of you constantly. There is a small, well-lit corner of my mind where you've taken up long term residence. The thought of you is just a constant companion. I look forward, quite excitedly, to the next time we cross paths. To be with you is a piece of beauty in my life.

I was going to post a gif with this, a very sweet gif of course, but even that sweet gif took away from how much this message truly meant to me, and i would never jeopardize that. To the point:I cannot express how precious you are to me, my dear boy. You are so wonderful, so incredibly wonderful, I could burst with it.  Thank you for this message and every other message.  Thank you for every ounce of kindness, appreciation, and affection you spend my way so often. To be with you is a piece of joy in my life.